Brazilian cult bans USB

An evangelical cult in Brazil known as 'Paz do Senhor Amado (Peace Beloved of the Lord)' has called upon its followers to shun USB, claiming that the technology and all its many users are the work of Satan.

Self-styled Apostle Welder Saldanha, leader of the cult, is quoted by Bobolhando as claiming: "The symbol of that name [USB] is a trident, which is used to torture the souls that go to hell. Use of that symbol proves that all users of this technology are actually worshippers of Satan."

Saldanha's followers aren't being asked to give up their peripherals completely, however. Instead, they're offered alternatives to USB such as Firewire, serial, and PS/2 - plus Bluetooth, which Saldanha claims is the most sacred of all connectivity methods as "blue was the colour of the eyes of our saviour Jesus Christ."

Sadly, this means that members of Paz do Senhor Amado won't be able to avail themselves of the many advantages that the latest revision of the technology has brought, including support for higher power devices and the ultra-quick Super Speed mode - but at least they won't be tortured with a trident featuring only one sharp point.

Satan, God, and Neptune were all conveniently unavailable for comment at the time of writing. Jesus was busy putting on his coloured contact lenses.