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Fake Steve Jobs says: ‘leave the real one alone’

Fake Steve Jobs says: ‘leave the real one alone’

Dan Lyons, who has been lampooning Apple’s Steve Jobs for many years, has posted his last item as Fake Steve Jobs and signed off.

Lyons, who has been impersonating the messianic Apple supremo in the notorious tech blog since 2006 and even managed to maintain his anonymity for quite some time, despite being a well-known tech hack, has parked his vitriolic pen for the last time.

“A lot of people seem to think that I created the blog out of some personal animus toward Steve Jobs. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. I think Jobs is the most fascinating person on the planet.” Lyons writes in a column on The Daily Beast.

Lyon’s put the Fake Steve Jobs column on hiatus the last time the Real Jobs was taken ill with pancreatic cancer and the subsequent liver transplant which has left him looking thin and gaunt ever since. Now Jobs has revealed that he is still not well and will be taking time off from Apple in order to recover fully.

In light of Jobs’ revelation that he is going on an extended leave of absence due to ill health, Lyons is now supporting the Apple saviour’s plea to be left alone with his family to recover.

“Frankly, I didn’t need to be asked,” insists Lyons. “In my final Fake Steve post I urged my fellow ‘filthy hacks’ [Fake Steve’s affectionate term for journalists] to leave Steve alone.

Sadly, I’m pretty sure that won’t happen.

“I’m sure there will be stories where some reporter talks to people who know Jobs – his friends, his neighbours – and tries to wheedle out some tidbit of information,” he continues.

Lyons is also calling “bullshit” on those who insist that weaselling information out friends, family members, drunken Apple employees or medical experts on the grounds that Apple is a public company and the public has a right to know what is going on, saying: “The truth is, there is no real news value to any of this stuff. The only real value to any of these stories is that they generate page views. And the guys who are doing it, whether they write for a blog or for The New York Times, know the truth of what they’re doing, and they do it anyway.”

Lyons also says that, despite being familiar with people in the know, including several Apple employees, a surgeon at the hospital where Jobs has received much of his treatment, and Steve’s former business partner and close friend Steve Wozniak, he won’t be pressing any of them for information, saying: “All the hot showers in the world could not wash that stink off me.”

Let’s just hope the real Steve gets well soon so that we can all get back to enjoying the Fake Steve ripping the mick out of him!

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