McDonalds axes staff in favour of touch screens

The days when we can indulge in our favourite hobby of going into McDonald's and saying, "Can I have a blank stare please?" may soon be over.

The European arm of the global burger chain is planning to replace thousands of the slack-jawed zit-farmers and care-in-the-community social lepers it employs as serving staff with machines.

To be precise, the fast-food outlet is installing 7,000 touch-screen ordering kiosks all over Europe in order to shave three or four seconds off of the time it takes to order your paper bag full of cold cow, grease and sugar.

For its part, McDonald's says it has no interest in replacing cashiers with machines which seems to us to be exactly what it is about to do.

We're not quite sure how our regular order of a "Quarter Pounder with cheese with no pickle, and the onions you put on the cheeseburgers, and the sauce you put on the Big Macs as well as ketchup, but no mustard, and a portion of well-done fries, with no salt, and a stll Fanta with no ice, but can we have a cup of ice on its own as well", will go down with a machine, but we suspect it might need a reboot.