What’s in a a name? Would the world have looked differently on the iPhone spanking-new Apple CEO Tim Cook unveiled yesterday if it had been called the iPhone 5?
Well, yes. Probably.
Would that be a good or a bad thing? Well, by the signs of it, Apple’s stock holders initially thought the lack of an iPhone 5 was a bad thing. In trading after the Apple ‘event’, Apple’s share price dropped by around five per cent – something that never happened when Steve was at the helm. Five per cent of Apple’s share price its a pretty big number – a number that’s been growing rapidly since the iPhone first tipped up and took the handset market by storm.
The share price rallied a bit later, though. Tim would be pleased with that (can we call him Tim yet?).
He’s obviously a cautious chap. You can imagine if Steve Ballmer had landed that particular job. He’d have bounded on stage harragued his audience for a while and then announced the iPhone 7. “Hey this device is so far ahead of its time we skipped a few numbers!” – certainly Microsoft has form for that sort of thing.
Not Tim, though.
You can just see the heavyweights on Apple’s board sitting around a table with a bit the size of massive termite bite missing out of it. The Shrine to Steve might sit sliently in the corner, or indeed, there could a 15-inch iPad in Steve’s chair with his withered fizzog emblazoned upon it as he listens in.
“So, what shall we call this new-fangled phone then? The press are calling it the iPhone 5.”
“Yeah, them too.”
“Ah. Right, what’s good about it?
“You can speak to it and it’ll do what its told.”
“Cool. Anything else?”
“It’s got two antennas, so this time when you speak to it other people can hear you.”
“Oooh! Double cool. Anything else?”
“Erm. [Sounds of shuffling papers, tapping on glass.]
“So, it’s like the iPhone 4 only this time it works and it’ll obey voice commands so long as you live – or speak like anyone – within ten miles of Cupertino. What will happen if we call it the iPhone 4 that works?”
“Millions of people with iPhone 4s will be bringing them back for a refund.”
“Not only your nelly!” shrieks the iPad in the corner.
“iPhone 4S is is then. Where are the turtlenecks?”
“Steve took ’em.”
“All of ’em?”
“Ah.”Leave a comment on this article