David Cameron? There's a £20,000 iPad App For That

You're the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, with the nation at your feet. What more could you want? A customised iPad app, obviously.

Despite having the aid of government officials to help the Prime Minister with his daily trials and tribulations, the physical presence of his loyal colleagues is not enough - David Cameron has commissioned his very own iPad app to assist in his running of the country (as you do).

According to the Telegraph's Matthew D'Ancona, the app will feature a management dashboard allowing instant access to crime statistics, unemployment figures, polling information and NHS waiting lists - at the cost of approximately £20,000 (as well as at the cost of the taxpayer).

Making it easier than ever for him to get in touch with his local constitutencies, the PM will also be able to amalgamate Google search trends and Twitter feeds of his fellow MPs to keep him in the loop; whilst monitoring the performance of his government colleagues.

The Daily Telegraph reported the following: "The app is only the first manifestation of a No 10 plan to judge the success or failure of ministers with reference to performance-related data rather than the usual subjective criteria.

"The explicit model is the “sabermetric” system of analysis, made famous by the book and movie, Moneyball, in which baseball players were selected by the Oakland A’s with reference to hard empirical data rather than the scouts’ visceral judgment."

The Daily Mirror however claims the PM to be an iPad addict - because the completion of Angry Birds or the perusal of newspapers on the device instantly qualifies as an addiction.