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Got the clap? There's an app for that

You'll soon be able to tell if you've picked up a sexually transmitted using your PC or mobile phone, and it won't involve taking a snap of your old chap and sending it to the quack.

According to a recent report in the Guardian, sexual health and technology experts are teaming up to develop a USB dongle which will be able to tell in minutes whether your last sexual encounter has left you with something more lasting than a warm afterglow.

The miniature devices, which the consortium behind the project hopes will eventually be in condom machines for as little as 50p, will be able to detect STDs like herpes, chlamydia and gonorrhoea.

They work a bit like pregenancy testers, meaning you'll have to pee on it to get a result, so be careful not to mix it up with the USB stick containing your college thesis or work documents.

The dongle can then be hooked up to a PC or mobile phone and will give an accurate diagnosis, but you'l still have to go through the trauma of visiting a GUM clinic to get treatment.

Still... it's a lot better than going through all of that only to find out you're allergic to your own underpants.

On a serious note, 482,696 cases of sexually transmitted diseases were reported in the UK last year, the vast majority of them in young people under the age of 23.