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'Gay cure' app for iPhone doesn't work

If you woke up this morning feeling a bit camper than usual, you might have caught a bit of gay.

If that's the case, and you're worried that the gayness might be catching, you might like to isolate yourself from your friends and neighbours. After all, you wouldn't want to spread the gay, now, would you?

If your symptoms persist, you might want to seek medical help but, in the short term, if you think you might be coming down with homosexualism, there's an app for that.

Exodus International, a bunch of right-wing Christian nutjobs from the Land of the Free™, have released an app which can apparently exorcise those unwanted man-love urges and put you back on the straight and narrow path to normality.

Their pray-out-the-gay app promises to offer users "Freedom from homosexuality through the power of Jesus."

Apparently, Apple found nothing offensive about an app which treats a person's sexuality as an affliction and continues to allow it to be downloaded through iTunes, despite the fact that more than 80,000 people have signed a petition calling for its removal.

Perhaps the Cupertino company will rethink the policy when it discovers that the app makes promises about its functionality which it can't keep.

Ben Summerskill from Gay rights group Stonewall told the Guardian, "We've all been on this app since 8am and we can assure your readers it's having absolutely no effect."

Under normal circumstances we would provide a link to the offending app but, in this case, we're not willing to shine the light of publicity on any outfit willing to suggest that being gay is "a sin that will make your heart sick."