Leading obesity merchant McDonald's is currently drawing up secret plans to begin 3D printing burgers, ITProPortal can reveal.
An anonymous tipster citing sources "within the company" told us that the fast food peddler was intending to trial the new production method at select US outlets, but was confident of pushing ahead with international rollout by 2015.
It is believed that flagship artery cloggers the Happy Meal and Big Mac will be first in line to receive the upgrade.
"It makes perfect sense," our snitch told us. "McDonald's already prides itself on the barely edible quality of its food, so it's a natural step to begin serving burgers that are actually crafted from hot plastic and melted glue."
The news has received a mixed response in the US, with Facebook drones picking up images of protests in Boston, San Francisco, and Boulder.
Health campaigners have also condemned the plans, noting that 3D printing Happy Meals could dramatically improve their quality and lead to a spike in McDonald's consumption. Recent reports show that McDonald's food is the third most crippling addiction in the US, after crack cocaine and Republicanism.
However, American social commentators were quick to dismiss the impact of these "small gatherings," which only appeared to number in the low millions.
Top Fox News faeces spewer Bill O'Reilly ranted: "It's outrageous that these liberal quinoa munchers are standing in the way of progress. 3D printing is already used for some of the most useful things in the world, like enabling hard-working lunatics to print a gun from the comfort of their own trailer."
"It's unrealistic to think that these enlightened, un-American corners of the country represent the voice of ordinary rednecks. In fact, I have reason to believe that these protests are being organised by al-Qaeda and may, in fact, prove that Saddam Hussein is still alive," he added.
Initial reaction in the UK was generally enthusiastic, with the Daily Mail organising a petition urging Prime Minister David Cameron to help bring 3D printed McDonald's food to the UK as a matter of national importance.
In a rare show of cross-party unity, UKIP leader Nigel Farage also stated his support for the initiative, saying that he "loved the idea of a 3D printed Happy Meal almost as much as I love naked bear wrestling with my chum Vladimir Putin."
Keen to know what the average Briton thought, we hit the streets of Southwark.
"Listen mister, I think this is a great idea," mumbled a random wetty wishing only to be identified as 'Mr T.' "In between being awesome and maintaining an active clip art library, I love McDonald's and am keen on 3D printing. It seems more obvious than interviewing Larry Ellison in bed."
If the reports prove true, analysts predict that other faceless US brands like Budweiser and Marlboro will consider 3D printing their wares. Technology giant Apple is also looking to enter the nascent 3D printed burger market, according to Piper Jaffray analyst Gene Munster.
"It's only logical that, after the iTV, Apple will look to launch an iBurger. It will be the company's biggest success since the iPhone 5C," the noted Apple clairvoyant posited.
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