Unless you've been hiking through the Appalachian mountains, you'll be aware that there have only been two topics of online discussion for the entirety of this week: How to look at naked pictures of Jennifer Lawrence, and just what Apple is pulling out of its bag for the launch of the iPhone 6 on September 9.
The gross violation of privacy of the former – especially when over 100 other women were victimised – would make for another article. The web's obsession with the latter, however, can be explained simply by shining a spotlight on Apple's ethos. Or, more simply, by walking into an Apple store.
The Apple store knows you're a unique and complex modern phenomenon. That's why there's no carpet. It knows you're informed about technology. That's why there are no aisles, just benches with laptops and iPads laid out so you can "workshop" them. Apple knows you're sleek, and urban, and fierce, and modern. That's why, instead of fixing your broken products at a service desk, they fix them at the Genius Bar.
Now if that's just what its stores look like, you can see why the world goes crazy every time the Cupertino-based company brings out a new smartphone. Apple sells the image of you as not just a customer, but an aficionado. Its loyal fan base wants to maintain that image by keeping up with the latest Apple trends, and that includes its newest smartphone, the iPhone 6.
But with so many people on the web clamouring to prove that they deserve that coveted spot at the Apple Genius Bar, the rumour mill has been churning into overdrive. From Minority Report style 3D technology, to whispers that Apple is bending over backwards to imbue the iPhone 6 with a curved display, no idea is too big or too small.
But breaking through all of the hype and hearsay, what am I expecting, really?
A sapphire display
Honestly, either Apple is manufacturing sapphires to place inside its devices' screens, or it's gone into business creating life-size replicas of the old lady's necklace in Titanic. Somehow I think it's the former, but having seen a video of the supposed iPhone 6 screen being scratched by sandpaper, I wouldn't be surprised if the iPhone 6's screen is actually constructed from a blend of sapphire and traditional glass. It won't be completely shock resistant, but hopefully it'll be a step up from the fragile screens we have right now.
A hefty price tag
You can pick up an iPhone 5S in the UK for £549, so I wouldn't be surprised if the iPhone 6 muscles in for well into the £600 mark. Rumours have been flying around that the new flagship will go on sale for $800 in the US, so that works out as around £700.
Either way, you may want to start flogging those kidneys if you want to pick up the newest release.
Every single iPhone 6 rumour this year has focussed on two sizes: 4.7in or 5.5in. Well, they say there's no smoke without fire and clearly there's enough of a smog here to cure a salmon farm, so it wouldn't be surprising if the iPhone 6 was larger than the 4in iPhone 5s.
No expandable memory
Apple may make you feel you like a high-class tech aficionado, but don't expect it to treat you like one. Despite the fact that legions of fans have been crying out for a microSD card slot, I'm almost certain that the iPhone 6 won't come with expanded storage.
For one thing, iPhone 6 design leaks have not shown any sign of a microSD card slot. Then there's the fact that Apple also has a history of using unibody designs (it's one of the reason that Apple products are so difficult to repair.) Do not expect the company to try and match the Galaxy S5 or HTC One M8 with this specification. We've never seen it before and with cloud storage becoming cheaper and more useful, we probably never will.
A shiny new processor
With every new iPhone comes a brand new processor. It's a fact of life , a universal truth that must be acknowledged, and the iPhone 6 will be no different.
Last year, we saw Apple take a giant leap forward with the arrival of its A7 64-bit chip and the M7 co-processor on the iPhone 5s. Being up to twice as fast with twice the graphics power of its predecessor, the Apple A6, the chip meant Apple was the first company to ship a 64-bit ARM CPU in a consumer smartphone.
This year we're almost guaranteed to see a new A8 64-bit processor . Rumours abound that the A8 will pair with a new M8 co-processor that could include a barometer and air pressure sensors, which could be a key indicator that the iPhone 6 will be able to deal with dynamic fitness data. Speaking of which....
The finesse of fitness
Any fitness fanatic worth their health salts would like the idea of their own personal trainer to keep them focussed on driving their performance to new heights. The Cupertino clever clogs at Apple will be completely aware of that, hence the amount of rumours circulating that the iPhone 6 and iOS 8 will revolutionise sports and fitness.
A recent report by Flurry has revealed that health and fitness apps have exploded on the App Store, skyrocketing by 62 per cent this year alone. Since iOS 8 will be released with Apple HealthKit (the developer SDK has already gone live,) we're sure that the iPhone 6 will be packed full of accelerometers and biometric technologies to measure just what's going on in our bodies.
A digital wallet
With rumours of an NFC chip and a fingerprint sensor abounding, all the pieces are in place for Apple to make a move into the mobile payments market. It would be a smart move too, especially considering that there are around 800 million credit cards already on file with iTunes accounts.
With all its rivals releasing smartwatch after rubber smartwatch, Apple has had a very long time to survey the wearables market and learn from its competitors' mistakes.
According to Re/code, the long-awaited iWatch will finally launch alongside the iPhone 6 on 9 September. Surprisingly for a launch that's supposedly just around the corner, no specs have been leaked. However, I'd bet money that it will also boast a sapphire display and would be launched just before Christmas to take advantage of the holiday season.
ITProPortal is covering the iPhone 6 launch live all day today. Tune in for all the news as it breaks.